Being a good person has got me HOT & BOTHERED. Chelcye Perry joins hosts, Nthenya from Kenya for some delicious Texas BBQ from Bludso and gripe session that includes friendship evaluation.
Hot & Bothered Ep. 1 Telling your business
00:00:00 Speaker: Okay. Woo hoo! Okay. Oh my gosh. Okay. I'm so excited. Hi. Hi. Welcome to Hot and Bothered. Hot food bothered folks. Okay. Um. I am so excited. My name is Thenia. I'm your host. Just a moment for that. And, uh, my first guest is Miss Chelsea J. Perry. Yay! I'm here and I'm hot and I'm bothered. Yes. She's hot. Hot. Yes. Little bit, little bit. No, I meant fine, girl. Yeah, that's what I meant. Just a little bit. Oh okay. Yeah. She's she's beautiful. And, um, tonight or tonight? Today, whatever it is, you don't know what time it is. We are having Bludso barbecue, which is originally from Texas, originally. Okay. Straight from Texas, because who else is from Texas? I am Houston in the building every day. Yes, Houston's in the building. Okay. So we figured we would do blood, so we would get into some comfort foods so that we can ramp because as a black woman, I'm never allowed to be angry or not. And so I decided that we were going to do hot food and bothered folks, some comfort food, and some rants about some petty stuff. Are you ready to get into this? I am very much ready. Okay. For the food and the coffee. For the food and the combo. This looks amazing. Okay, so I thought that we could start with. Oh, let me talk about what we got here. Okay. I got the pulled pork. Got the regular brisket. I'm not a lean brisket person, are you? I am not. That's some California stuff. Brisket is brisket. Yeah, it's just right. But I agree, when people are like, I'll have it lean. And I'm like, just. I never heard of that a day in my life. Oh, okay. Yeah. So we have a conversation to have about that. Then we got some collard greens, some baked beans and some cornbread classics. Okay. Don't ask us why we don't have mac and cheese. We refuse to answer because some of us are petty, but. And we can't start there. Okay. So, um, petty grievances. Do you have any, like, small grievances that you have right now? Like, not the big one that we're going to get into, but like a small one. And I can go first if you want. Um, my best friend always says that I'm very petty. I don't think I'm petty. When you take me there, I'm petty when provoked. It makes sense. Like if you don't do anything, then I won't do anything. But if you do something, then I'm going to go there. Um. Small. Petty. I think I don't like the normal things that people like. Wasting my time, having me waiting for no reason. Um. Lack of communication. I don't like anytime my son asks me to do anything. Um, it doesn't matter. Cook for him. Provide. These are things that are annoying to me. Whatever petty grievances do I have? I don't really like some people don't like when you don't put the basket back at the grocery store. I don't care. Okay, so that's people there to do the job. Okay. So that's not a petty grievance for, you know, you'll leave the cart in the aisle, do you? What? I'll leave. I don't give a damn, you guys. She's leaving the cart in the parking space right next to you, wherever it's at. I mean, I typically will push it back. I will, but if I have somewhere to go, I'm in a rush. I don't got time for that today, so I'm not doing it. Okay. Yeah. And you hate. And you hate that people be looking at you some kind of way. Yes, yes, I do like if you give me a dirty look about not putting it back. Get a life. Get, get. Can we cuss? Yes. Get a fucking life. Please, please let it out. This is where you can let it out. Girl. Do something with yourself. Yes. Okay. I do have a confession to make. What? Um. On my third week of becoming a mother, I did yell at a stranger for not putting their cart back. Oh my God. Why? I don't know. I was just feeling some kind of way. I was like, in the car, waiting for Trey to get something out of the grocery store, and I was in there with the baby, and he just, like, left the cart right outside my door. And I don't know, I was just like, I was like, do you? I was like, the the cart return is right there. And he was like, yeah. And I was like, yeah, so put it there. I mean, like, why'd you leave it right here? I was like, why'd you leave it right here? I was I had so much attitude. I was like, why are you blocking your door? Now that's different. He was blocking the door. I will leave it, like out the way. I would never leave it blocking someone's car like entrance to their car. Okay. That's wildly rude. Okay. Um. And then, you know, hormones for you from hormones. You know, you can do whatever. Yeah, because now I don't feel any kind of way. Yeah. You've given life. Yeah. I've do whatever. Um, yes, I okay, I have this kind of ridiculous grievance that if if I'm annoyed by parking, I will go home. Like, if I arrive. If I arrive to a party and parking is whack, I might go home. I might honestly and truly take my ass home. Like, if you have a party and it's downtown Los Angeles and the parking is not, ooh, catty corner right across the street. There's not a parking lot. A how many circle around? Like, how long are you going to give it before you decide to go home? I'm giving it. 12 minutes. Okay, here's why I can never commit to that. Because once I take the Fenty out the bottle, it has to be seen. The preparation in me preparing to go out is a deal. And then I drove here. Okay, So then that was gas. That was that was spent. So if I have to spend a minute to finding the parks, which I have a handicap placard. So, you know, I'm never gonna wait too long. See. But see, that's why you I mean, you you do a face. You be cute when you're out. You're just gonna go home and wash it off. Mhm. What are you gonna go do? I'm not going home to wash it off. I'm just leaving there. I might go find something else to do. Oh, I'm not that popular. I have that one set thing to do. And then if I don't do that thing, I don't have anything else. Okay. I resent that. And you are that popular? Usually I just go do something else. Like I'll be like, oh, I'll go. I mean, we're comedians, so I'll, like, go to a show or I'll, you know, I mean, there's, there's, I feel like a million things happening in LA. True. Yeah. I don't want to do those things, though. There are a million things happening. I did straight turnaround from someone's birthday party though, recently because I was like, yeah, I'm not, um, I'm not walking through this alleyway. I was like, oh, my show ran late. I can't, I'm not gonna be able to make it, but happy birthday. And it was not say that like that. They will go home and I'm like for me and I get it. You slipped on your clothes and brushed your hair and came here. Okay. It's nothing for you but for women. Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Somebody's gonna see this look. Okay you guys we already disagree. That's okay. It's okay. Okay. This okay. This is my last tiny grievance. And I know a lot of people feel like this is an unpopular thing to say. Let me hear it. Um, my grievance is I. I really dislike underwear. Okay. And not in the way that you think. I'm going to say I wear it like underwear to me is like hair on your head. It's gorgeous when it's on. And then once it's off of your body, I want it gone. I want to throw it away. I don't want to ever see it again. I just don't like, I hate, I don't like underwear once it's off of your body. I'm processing because. What does that mean? Are you? I don't know, it's just a throwing it away. No, I'm not throwing it away. I just want to be rich enough to throw my underwear away. I want to be rich enough to never see underwear again. Like to only see it and only put it on. If you had a maid, would you let your maid wash your underwear? No. Apparently my dad told me that that is not what you're supposed to do. You're not allowed to have your, um. I don't feel comfortable with that. I would never let my. Somebody. Yeah, wash my underwear. I don't I don't know where your hands be. And I get that they're my underwear, but I just don't know where your hands be. my parents have a farmhouse in Kenya, they have a lot of, like, house help. They have people who, whatever, clean the house, do laundry, all the things. And I asked because I didn't know. And my dad was like, oh yeah, no, no, no, you don't let you, you you separate it. You put your, your house like your, the regular clothes go in one bin and then you're like your intimates go in another bin. I think that's like, that's your parents. And they have good manners and kind hearts. I don't think in the US people are separating them. Oh, I feel like we should poll the people. Ooh. Do you think that they. I think most people leave it all together. And because I have said that, that's a weird thing for me. And people have been like, why? It's just clothes. Let them wash it all. And I'm like, whoa. Oh, okay. I don't know. Are y'all letting your, um, people clean your underwear? Especially in other ways? It feels weird to say, like your housekeeper. Why? I don't know. Are you better get in the habit. right? Actually, right. My maid. I'm ready. I'm ready to say. Oh, she's got it, girl. She's got it, she's got it. She's picking up Bailey. She's sweeping. She's. She's doing the things with the Fabuloso. She has the house smelling good? Yes. My maid. Yes, my. My housekeeper. Whatever. Whatever she wants to be called is what I'll call her. Yeah, but. Okay. House manager. Hey, whatever. Okay. Can't wait. You're right. Let's call her what she is. And. Yeah. Are y'all letting your maids clean your underwear? Wash your underwear? That's crazy. Yeah, people are weird here. Yeah, but I mean, when people. I think, too, if you grow up with that kind of thing, they do it. Oh my God, no. Not me. Yeah. No. Okay. That was my last, like, petty grievance. What do I have petty grievances about? I don't like for people to call me before 9 a.m.. Why? What do you have to talk about this early? What do you want if it's not an immediately? Hey, there's $100,000 down here for you. No. What could you possibly have to talk to me about before 9:00? Really? Before 10:00? I'm really in the am. If this is not a job opportunity, I don't feel like it's really any reason to call me before noon. Unless you're having, like, an emotional breakdown. You like. Like something needs to be wrong. Other than that, let's save the talking until later. I love that it got back. It was like nine. I have told my best friend, she started at nine. She was like, don't call me before nine. Actually, before ten, actually before noon. Why are you calling anybody before noon? What do you want? I will say that, um, I am now doing this thing called office hours. And between the hours of ten and 430, you cannot call me unless we have planned to speak. Yeah, because I feel like as a creative, people just call me all the time, and they just think that they, you know, they're just like, oh, you ain't doing nothing. You don't have. You have a show later tonight. Cause I saw it on your Instagram, but you ain't got shit to do right now. So you better answer my call. Like I was literally I was working on something like editing. And then my phone rang. I didn't answer it, I ignored it, and then I got a FaceTime call from that same person. I was like, excuse me, now. Now you want to be seen? Yeah. And then I didn't respond to that. So then they sent me an audio message. Was this Trey? no, it had to be your man for all this girl. I would I was hoping he had an iPhone all of a sudden. Because this was an iPhone user and then because he's a droid. But then. And then I got I know we have to work on that, but. And then I got a text message. So I got a phone call, a FaceTime, an audio note and a text message. They were like, hey, and I know you're busy, but I just wanted to leave this here. Well, if you know, I'm busy. Back the fuck off. Like, it was so crazy to me, and I still haven't called them back. Okay? And that was last week. But that was weird and excessive. Like what? What are we doing? Don't. My mom does that. And I get it. She's my mom, right? But I could have just talked to her yesterday, ma'am. Right. There's there hasn't happened. There's not been that much in either one of our lives that would require for us to need all of this, these lines of communication. I think office hours for sure. Same thing, because we are creatives and people know that shows are at night. They feel like they can just call you at any time of day, and it's like it doesn't work that way. Mhm. And even if I wasn't doing nothing, I just established that in my mind. Like having a cell phone does not mean that I have to pick up. Mhm. Let's go back to the days of landlines where we were missing phone calls, I miss it. Yeah. I missed your call. Sorry. Right. Try again tomorrow. I'm about to go to a home phone. I'm seriously. I think they're good to have. I have the line. I just don't have the phone. Yeah. Yeah. And I know, like. So this was in, uh, Roy Wood Jr. Special. He's talking about how, like, people don't want to connect anymore. And you get mad when you make a phone call. Okay. Yes. That is me. But I think it's also because we are so like I'm so ADHD that like, it really distracts me and it'll throw me off of my day. So I have to create that boundary. Here's my thing if I don't have this is the word that I've been saying over and over again, like literally for the month of February and March. Rapport. Mhm. Certain things are giving to people who you have a rapport with. Mhm. I can handle you calling or establish friendships that I have or if it is business then I need to immediately take care of it because there's an established rapport. But if you just willy nilly calling me. Uh, no. Yeah. Um, I don't know. You like that. Yeah. A girl called me today and was like. I was just calling to see what you're doing. I have not heard that line. And I'm like, since 2018 calling to see what I was doing. Bitch. What do you want? What? I'm not even going to tell you what I'm doing. This feels like a setup. I'm uncomfortable. What are you doing? Oh, my God. It does feel like a setup. Because it feels like you're like, what are you about to ask me to do? Right. What exactly? What do you want? Are you outside my house? You want something? Where are you? Oh, that's exactly two people know where I live. Two. Okay. And I'm not one of them. You're not? She is not. But she's welcome to know. But two people know where I live. Let's just let's just, um. Let's just. I can't point out where our friendship is at right now. Okay? Okay. That's your fault. Your fault? Okay. She did move. And I did know where she used to live. Exactly. All right. Fine, fine fine, fine. Okay. Okay. How's the food? It's delicious. Beans are good. Yeah, the beans are good. Actually, I didn't think I was gonna like them. Not because of the restaurant, but just because I'm not. I'm not a big bean person. Are you? Yes. Oh, okay. In my. I'm getting old. Mhm. I feel like it's the go to meal as you get old. I like beans now. I like lentils. I like all the things now. Okay. So I love a lentil soup. Mhm. Me too. Me too. I love Mediterranean food in general now. Mhm. Which is something you know especially in Houston we didn't grow up with. Oh Mediterranean I think I was 25 the first time I had Mediterranean food overseas. Mhm. And you just, there was just not a lot of places like that growing up in Houston. Mhm. It was soul food. Mexican food. Chinese food. That's pretty much it. Mhm. I was gonna say that's probably about the same in. I mean there were pockets. Sure. Like if you looked in South Carolina it was probably like that. Like all I can remember is. Yeah southern food. That's it. Mexican food. What is it? And I think it's better now. I think if I go to Houston now, there's everything. Yeah. You'll find something. Everything now. But back in the nine, nine and the 2000, it was not. Right. Okay. What's not? Are you ready for your big grievance? What is our big grievance? No, your big grievance. What is my big grievance? I don't know. No. You go first. I go first. Okay. Oh, okay. So, um, you and I were on the phone when this actually happened, or. I think I told you about it. Maybe after. So essentially what happened is I, Time I like to do, you know, some. Some purge, some like spring cleaning. Fall cleaning. Because I am ADHD, so I like to get stuff out of my house because I can't see it, because it'll cause me stress. So I was remember when I was packing up a whole bunch of my maternity stuff and my baby stuff? Oh, that's your big grievance, friend? Yes. Okay. Oh, no. Not already. Shame. No, I expected something way bigger. Now these people are gonna think that I'm petty. No, I did say petty rage. I mean, it's petty, but it's not. No, it's. I get why you're upset. Honestly, this is a genuine something, but. Okay. Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Okay, so back to the story. I would I was spring cleaning as, as I, as I try to do. And I have a three year old son and they grow out of stuff really quick. So I really wanted to donate. And this was before the LA fires, and I really wanted to donate all of my things to somewhere that would use it, and it would be of value to them, because it's nice stuff and it's not like like I only want, like, you know, whatever. Anyways, it was nice things. I didn't think that they should go into the trash. Right? Um, I was like, they should go to somebody who needs them. And I had remembered that you had said that you did. You performed a comedy show, um, at a domestic violence shelter. Um, and that they were amazing. And they had private spaces for, um, for women and children, and that they also were accepting that they generally accept donations. And so I was like, oh my gosh, this is perfect. I'll be able to give to people who actually need it, who are mothers. Yeah, yeah. Women who, um, have probably had to just leave their homes. So this stuff will be useful to them. Now. I call right. Well, first of all, okay, I call you. It wasn't a comedy show, but. Yes. Oh, it wasn't a comedy show. I just was volunteering with a non-profit organization. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. She was just being a hero. Cut it out. Cut it out. My bad. She was being a hero. And so, anyways, I called you to be like. Hey, do you remember the place that you, dropped this off and you were like, oh, man, it's been years. But it was in this area. So I go, bet. And we start looking on Google and we try to zero it in, right? So we're zeroing it in and I'm like, okay, it has to be this one. And we pick we pick the one that it might be. And I call them up and they say yes, that they are a domestic, uh, domestic violence shelter, that they do accept donations. But that day their donation coordinator was not in. And I said, oh, okay. Do you want me to do you want me to schedule another time? And he said no, actually. Why don't you come on by and bring them? And I said, oh, perfect bet, because it's in my car. Let's go. So I put in the address that I had found on Google. Now I get there and can't find it. Can't find it. Ain't nothing there ain't nothing there. Oh my gosh, I was. It's very much camouflaged. But we get y very much camouflaged obviously for, for certain reasons, for safety reasons, you just want to be like, oh, you don't want to tell Ike this is where Tina's hiding, right? You can't do that. No, you definitely don't want to tell Ike where Tina is hiding. So I was like, okay. And after a while of looking around and there were some, like, characters lurking around, you know, I was like, let me call. So I call and the guy's like, oh, my bad. I gave you the wrong address. This is our headquarters. Weird. Well, I'll leave it up to man. Yeah. Don't let a man see this podcast. And, uh, so then I'm like, okay, where am I going? He sends me the new address. Now I go to that address and again, camouflaged. Right. So I'm outside walking around. I'm like doing Braille. I'm trying to figure out, like, where am I? Where are these? You know, I'm looking around for battered women, which is, like, not what you're supposed to be doing. I'm looking around for Ike's, you know, I'm like, oh, are these niggas out here trying to beat. You know what I mean? I was like, how am I supposed to know? This is the spot? Hilarious. You know, and I'm stressing out. Time is flying. I'm down to 405. I got to get back up to pick up my kid. I'm like, okay, now my blood is starting to, you know, my blood pressure is rising. I'm like, hold on a second. So I call back and he's just like, no, we're right here. Gives me the address again. I'm like, come outside and meet me. Come outside. Right. He's not in the building. He's like, oh, I'm at a different building. Okay, you don't want this stuff then, cause I'm gonna leave it on this curb. Right, right. And so then that's the spirit I had. I was like, oh, oh, oh, so y'all don't want my stuff then? And so now I have an attitude and I'm like, you know what? I need to just go. So I don't have an attitude. So I call him back and I said, listen, I can't find it. And I really want to donate this stuff to a good cause, but my spirit is feeling some kind of way, and I refuse to keep looking and no shade on y'all. I want y'all to be safe. And, um, I'm a I'm gonna try another day. Yeah. And. Okay, so then I called you, and I was, like, venting about it because I was just like, how? Like, how crazy is this? That I spent four hours of my day trying to do a good thing, and then, you know, and then at the end of the day, I feel like shit because I'm like, I would have slapped a bitch, you know what I mean? Like, I was ready to find this man and hit him, you know what I mean? And that's the only reason why these people are in the shelter, which is not the reason why not. That's the only reason. Well, not the only reason. I mean, I'm sure there's emotional abuse, but, like, very real. I'm just saying that, like, it raised like a level of like I was bothered. Yeah. To a point where I was like, okay, let me. I need to take a step back. So then a couple days later, I try again. I call them this is what I remember for sure. Yes. And I call again, and I could tell this was an old white lady who answered the phone, and I was like, hi, you know, my name is Tanya. I'd like to donate some goods to the, you know, domestic violence shelter. Are you receiving donations? She's like, ah. What kind of donations? And I was like, oh, you know, I, I have a three year old. I, you know, I have so many clothes that I actually he's never even worn. Um, and I have a lot of, my maternity clothes and all of the stuff that I had, and I have toys and and they're all in really good condition. And she was like, ah. Oh. And I was like, I have a car seat. I have all this stuff. Good stuff. Yeah. Good stuff. This is like Nuna. This is like good stuff. And she's like, um. I just don't know if we want to take donations today. And what I said. All right. Goodbye. And I hung up. I said, bye bye, bitch. I'm done. I'm. Yeah. I hope your organization falls apart. Okay. Bye. Not the organization I know, I know, okay? I don't wish the organization fell apart, but I hope I hope she gets I hope she gets ousted. I hope this woman know those people are their positions for forever, which is why they act the way they do. Hilarious, though, falls apart. I hope it falls apart. I donated somewhere else. Oh, did you end up finding a place? You didn't tell me that I did. I found a place through this other comic named And she's a survivor. And she. It was the shelter that she used to go to. So. Okay. Yeah. So I did find that public knowledge while we're sharing it here on the podcast. Uh, okay. Well, we might edit that out. Damn. Okay. I'm like, we just tell her. Copy. Listen, she runs a whole show. That's about that. Okay, that's what I'm saying. Is it public knowledge? Yes. Okay, good. Well, good for her. Good job. I mean, I don't know this lady or man. Men are survivors of domestic abuse. I can tell you that. Out. Not not me. airing My cousin's laundry out. I was like, oh, yeah, my cousin was. Yeah. What are you just telling the people's business? I'm really telling the people's business today. Hilarious. My bad. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking. No, listen, I get it. We are in a place where people don't like to take used items, which is here. Here's. Here's my stance, I get it. When Katrina happened in And in Houston. Me and my mom volunteered in my church for like weeks on end. Our church even made a pledge to like, a 365 commitment to understand that people were hurting now, in this moment, but they had lost everything, and we should have them on our hearts and minds a year from now. And so we we cleared out this area where we, um, would host, like, cooking and different things like that, like events for church to store clothes and have donations to give out if anyone from Katrina would come by. The things that people dropped off were ridiculous, tattered holes, smelly like when people are in need. This is not the time for you to dump off your trash. And that is what people sometimes have a tendency to do. I get it. But I also realized that there are people who gave brand new things and or lightly worn, or they washed and they took care of the item. So but now we're in this place where people don't like even during Christmas drives and different things like that. People are like, bring a brand new toy. And I'm just like, well, okay, those are kids. I do understand that to a degree. But if I have something that maybe my child played with once, I can put it in a nice bag and still present it as a nice toy or a nice gift. So I get it. But I mean, also in this situation we're talking about, like you said, a women's shelter. Typically, if you are escaping or leaving a situation like this, you have not had time to go through your closet and pick your finest linens. It is a I've got to get out of here quick. And so no, that doesn't mean give you trash, but that means if someone has some gently worn things like I had Ivy Park and things like that that I were giving away, and people were like, no. And then, especially with kids clothes, a lot of times our kids go quickly, so they may have wore these jeans one time, this shirt one time, if that. Yeah, people are weird. Organizations are weird. Yeah. Um, I think here's my thing. Take everything and then go through it and whatever is crap, throw it away and whatever is good, give it to those in need. It's a simple process. The idea of just telling someone completely dead out. No. Mhm. Is like, okay, I hope your organization falls apart. Yes. Falls apart. I was willing to be like, hey, you can look at this stuff. And if you think that I should take it back with me and you don't want this. Yeah. You know. Yeah. I'll take it back. That's what they do at crossroads, right? I was like, y'all need to implement some kind of system like this because I was like, this is really good stuff. I ended up selling it on Facebook Marketplace. Some of it. And that's like the the stroll, like my stroller and all of that. Yeah. Because all of that stuff was in great condition. Like there were people fighting on on Facebook for it. And I was just like, okay, whoever comes to my house first because I want this shit out of my house. So if you come to my house, it's 20 bucks, you can have it. Period. Like, and it could have gone for free to somebody who actually needed it. But, you know, shout out Facebook Marketplace I love it. Right. It is it is like a it is a especially here. Oh yeah. Yeah. I think it's also based on location. I don't think Facebook Marketplace is necessarily popping in Denver, but for sure in California we're in South Dakota. Always in and out. Yeah, it people are getting rid of things all the time. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Totally. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I feel so much better now that I've let that out. Yeah. I'm glad I didn't know you were holding that like that, friend. That really bothered you? It did bother me. I'm glad that you had an opportunity over good food to to release that. Um. I hope your organization falls apart. Wait, did you think I was going to talk about my hair? Oh, that would have been good. Ah. Next episode. That would have been. We'll have Chelsea back and we'll talk about my hair. That part. Listen. Yes? Have me back for a hair episode, please. Because we we really had. Oh, yeah. We could make that a whole thing, too, because I have hair stories with horror stories here in Los Angeles that I have encountered that have been absolutely insane. I've been scammed out of at least $150, which in single parent world is $1 million. Listen, I was just scammed out of $1,200. Yeah, you were a friend. Oh, God. And you'll have to tune in to another episode with Chelsea Perry for that. Okay. Now. Air out your grievances. Why are you hot? Why are you bothered? Um. There are so many that come to mind. Honestly and truly, I kind of want to talk about the comedy one, but I don't want to say the place. Okay. Um, just because that really airs on what we were talking about, like not being able to be angry. Mhm. Um, so yeah, I'll do that. Recently my friend here was doing a show at a very popular comedy club, a comedy club that I have performed at a few times, uncountable on hands and toes have been there. No people there. Mhm. Um, so it's not like I'm a stranger to this place, but the people and staff who work there, constant rotating door, I'm aware of that. That's why I'm just always kind and nice to whoever is there. Right. I see that she's performing. I was leaving my show, so I was like, oh my God, I'm going to make it in time to see her. Let me get over there. I get over there. I walk in, greet the people at the front, I walk in. Um, there's a comic on stage. I go around back, which is the space that is only for comedians. And as I'm going to the back, I'm almost to her. And someone says, ma'am, ma'am, what are you. Like, what are you doing? And so I turned and I was like, hi. I was like, first line. I was like, I'm a comic. I'm going to see my friend. And he was like, you can't just walk back here. I paused and in the tone that I'm using right now, because I'm immediately aware this is a predominantly white space, I am black. Mhm. That already can be right, in case you didn't know. Right? I am black. Yeah. If you're listening to this. Right. In case you know you were confused. Um so I was like hey I'm going to see my friend. I was like, I was literally. And this was true. I was like, I was just here last Thursday and I performed or whatever. And so he was like, I was like, I'm going. He was like, what's your friend name? What's your friend's name? I say her name. And I was like, so then I was like, I don't understand what the problem is. He was like, calm down, calm down. I don't know if people realize how infuriating it is. Not just women, but especially black women, to be told to calm down. And you're not even upset. And I wasn't angry, and I hadn't did anything. And my thing is, I'm pretty aware of how I present. So I'm like, why are you telling me to calm down? Yeah. So I say to him, I was like, there's no need for you to tell me to calm down. I said, I'm speaking to you in a regular tone as I would anyone else. I said, I just want to say hi. I don't want anything. And so he's like, pretending to, like, look on the paper and scan it up and down and just do all this extra stuff. And I'm like, weirdo, not entertaining this. I go in, I give her a hug, say have a great show friend because I know what the anxiety is before performing and then I walk out. I don't want to be a distraction. Yes, I walk out, I get my seat. I'm sitting. I'm sitting ready to see my friend go. Now here comes another man, says, hey, can I talk to you real quick? Sure. Immediately greet him with a smile and I say, sure. He steps to the back and he says, did you just blow off one of the guys or such and such? I said, absolutely not, sir, I did not. He was like, well, what happened? I said, I came to support my friend who was on the lineup. I said I was literally just here last week, this and that, in the midst of me explaining, he was like, well, that's not what he told me. Cuts me off. And so now I'm feeling triggered because I'm like, you're not listening. You're not listening to me. You believe this person who I've never seen here in the four years that I've been coming here. So this person's probably new. Okay, cool. And I get it. You don't know who I am. I don't know who you are. Cool. Whatever. So I was like, sir, I was just here last week, and he was like, where were you? And I told him and he said, this particular place where only black people typically perform. And it was very demeaning in that moment and in that moment, I want to say, as a matter of fact, no, I was at this place just to prove him wrong, just to say, do not box me in to this mindset because I'm a black person. So I had to stay so calm because one, this is a place that I also work. I do not want to make this a place where I cannot come. Mhm. Also number two that my friend is on the lineup, I don't want to make this a bad situation for her. Like oh she had such and such up in here. And she was doing this because it could have immediately been like, why are you talking to me this way? Why are you being so aggressive? If I had challenged him in any way, it would have immediately been my fault. So he was like, I was like I was here. I was like, actually, no, I wasn't at that show. I was in another room and he was like, oh, okay, well, I'm the manager and I'm this. And I was like, tell me your name again, sweet. I'm giving Caucasian interview voice, never letting on that. I am highly annoyed and highly upset in this moment. Yeah. And so I go to the back of the club now just so at this point, it's about trying to keep the mindset I want to leave, I want to get out of this space. But I'm like, I'm here to support, stay focused. Now I'm sitting in the back. There's no other people in the back. It's not completely full like that. And he comes over again. He was like, I just looked your name up on such and such. You were not here. You need to leave. And so I said, okay, sir. And I got my things and I left and I just texted my friend. I was like, hey, I was just asked to leave. I left, I know you're going to have a great show. And it was really, really it's been a long time. First, it spoke to the growth, let's say that yes, I was going to say okay. It spoke to the growth because 2010 Chelsea would have been like, you got me fucked up, bro. Who the fuck are you talking to? Yeah. If I said I was here, I was like, why are you making this shit a big deal? I just was here yesterday. Yeah. And 2019 would have been like, who the fuck are you playing with, bro? Like, it was just it was uncomfortable because you're being so aggressive for no reason, but yet you're trying to make it seem like it's me. And that's what's like, I've given you no reason for you to treat me this way, or to even ask me to leave was so wild. Like leave. Are you serious right now? Yeah. Okay. Cool. Um, it's spoke to the growth of not going there, but it also spoke to. It's like you never get this chance to really feel vulnerable or be angry. Because had I been angry, and rightfully so, in that moment, it it just would have been him calling other people and it turning into something way bigger. That would have been, oh, I'm the problem. It would have never been seen. As these two men blew this situation way out of proportion. Way out of proportion. Yeah. Yeah. And so it's not as funny as yours. No, I think, but it's sad with me in my spirit for like a week. And I was just like, man, that's unfortunate. Like to have to live your life that way. Oh, yeah. And I think you can choose, I just. Are you watching Paradise? Yes. Okay. Have you seen the scene where the mom goes off on the people at the school? Wait, oh, am I am I giving away something? No. Not yet. Okay. My bad. Well, there. I can tell you without giving away. Yeah. There's a scene where the mom, her daughter does something, and they're talking to these other parents, and she's giving it to them. Yeah. And so then the husband is saying, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. She's trying to diffuse it and say, what would it be like to really just say exactly how you felt without being thought, without having the thought of, I'm going to be labeled the attitude y black girl, the ghetto black girl, the loud black girl, like all of these labels unjustly. You know what I'm saying? Like, don't get me wrong, we can be those things. Yeah. But to be labeled those things and then I'm not doing it is what's frustrating right. Yeah. So I was just like mhm. Yeah that felt good for me to see her be that way in that moment, especially in defense of her own child. But I was like also that's TV. Yeah. Nobody's actually walking in and doing that. Well unless they're mutendi. That's my mom. Um, listen she's actually not she's actually doing that. But my mom, to her credit, works in academia. And so she has done that same move for me many a times, like has gone in and yelled at teachers because she knows how they treat little black girls or little black children that they're like, oh, they're stupid. And oh, they didn't do their work. And my mom's like, no, she's not stupid. She did her work like, show me where she was wrong. You asked her to do an assignment because that's basically what that scene is like. You challenged her. You said, do this. She did it, and you didn't like it, and your kid didn't like it. But she did the assignment, and she was thought provoking, right? Was that not the assignment? Executed. Executed. Executed. And that's what she said. And I was like, ooh. I said, okay, um, yeah. But it is sort of like. And I felt, I felt awful. Um, when I heard I was sort of what was so crazy is like, they told me, like right before I went on stage, it was like I was literally about to walk on stage. And then one of the managers comes back and is like, hey, do you have a friend that's causing a scene? And I was like a friend causing a scene. I don't have a friend causing scenes, you know what I mean? I'm not I'm not that young and fun, you know what I mean? So I was like, oh, I said, are my friends outside? I know, but you know what I mean? But I was just like, oh my God, you know, like, oh, I was like, who's outside having fun? I was like, who's, you know, I thought it was like somebody drunk or, you know what I mean? Like, I thought I didn't even honestly like it didn't even cross my mind that they were talking about you. I was like, oh, it must be just one of like my rowdy, like, you know, somebody that I follow that I'm friends with, but like, came to the show and was just like, you know, Because I know those people. But, like, we haven't hung out in a while because I have a kid now, so I had no idea. I was like, what? What are you talking about? And then they were like, snakeskin pants. And I was like, oh, so you asked me my name five times, but the response was snakeskin pants. Ooh. That's wild. So yeah, that's what they told me. And I was like, oh, um, and then and then I, I think I said, I think because I was literally about to go on and I was like, oh, yeah, I think I said something to the effect of, yeah, she's a comic. She just came back here to say hello. I was like, I don't know if like, I'm not aware of anything else that happened, but I don't think anything, you know, I was like, I know her. I don't, you know, don't think anything would happen. And then I literally was just like, they're about to announce me. So then afterwards I get off and I'm like, you know, trying to find you because I'm like, oh my God. Like, you know, are you okay? Like what happened? Um, and then you were just like, which is so kind and gracious and thoughtful of you, because I knew that that was not a fun moment, but for you to be like, congratulations, I hope you have a good night. Let's talk about this later. Was very kind of you. And I just wanted to say thank you for that because I love you so much. And I know that that was not like, in an ideal world like it. It was like it was very painful to have those two things happening at the same time. Yeah. And I was like, oh man. Like. And also for them too, because I was like, oh, like, she's such a good comic and she could be a part of, you know what I mean? I was like, oh, but you like, this interaction could have just happened so, so differently. It could have been like, hey, you know, like, oh, you're a comic. Let me just tell you what is customary because I'm constantly like, I don't know what happens at that club or any of the clubs in LA really, or even when I go on the road with other comics, I'm always asking. I'm like, what's the etiquette? Because yes, yes. And I is asking now because it has. There have been times where I felt like, am I in the wrong? Am I wrong, like, am I supposed to be doing this? And it's just nice to know. And so sometimes I wish these clubs would give us a little bit more grace because we're not most of us. Some people, okay, some comics are. Some of y'all need a leash. But yes. No. But most of us, you know, realize the opportunity that's in front of us, especially if we're like a black woman. I promise you, she's not fucking around like so. So for it to have gone down like that was, was heartbreaking because I was like, oh, that was just like a missed opportunity to be like, hey, this is the etiquette here. You know, like only go backstage if you're with the comic or with the, you know, the headliner or whoever, like just to to give you a little bit of grace, they're never going to be able to set forth and say a proper etiquette, proper etiquette, because the rules for Dave Chappelle and the rules for you and I, even though both comics are going to be different and and understandably so. Don't get me wrong, I'm, I'm not saying that they shouldn't. You know, he comes, he smokes me, and you will never be able to come in there and smoke cigarettes. Yeah, yeah. So it's not it's I don't think it's really even setting a standard for the etiquette. It's like, this is just how sometimes people treat people when you know that you can treat people this way. Yeah. And if I don't value you and if I don't know you and if you if what you look like is not regularly here. Mhm. Because you're right, I as certain clubs you have to work your way to a certain place. That is one thing in comedy for sure, like the rapport that I have at the Laugh Factory, to be able to walk in there on a Tuesday or any other club. It's something that I've had to build where I did have to stand outside and I did have to wait, and that comes with time for sure. And if I'm on the road and it's a new club and I don't know for sure, I'm going to ask, hey, can I, am I allowed? Yeah, but that's also a thing. It's like when you've put in the work, when you know that you are where you're supposed to be, then you also have to walk in your your what you are. I am a comedian. I am supposed to be back here. You're not going to play me to the back. I'm not going to play a small for your comfort. I'm going to be respectful. I'm going to not be rude to anyone. But you're not going to make me feel small. Because maybe you aren't aware of who I am and what trajectory I'm on. And my thing is, like I was raised. You treat the janitor like you treat the CEO. And if you would just respect people across the board, then you wouldn't have these types of situations. Yeah, but when you're talking about industry things sometimes and certain people who are ooh and odd by names, I'm going to treat a name comic who maybe is a household name to the world the same way I treat somebody who's up and coming. It's not going to make a difference to me, but that's just how I was raised. And I get people, everybody's not raised like that. I get it 1,000%. I don't like it. Yeah, but I get it like, but I know it happens. Here's how I think it's not going to stop one ounce of one, anything that I'm doing. But it was just it I in terms of bothered beyond beyond bothered beyond pissed. And here's my thing. Our paths are going to cross again and it's going to be glorious. It's going and I'm going to be beyond kind. Yeah, of course I'm going to be. And I'm going to look fabulous. And it's just going to be so awkward for him. Yeah. Because you're never here's my thing describing. She just told me about this snakeskin pants shit. When people, men of any race or any color, get the describing people by the clothing or what they have, and that means I really stood out in your goddamn mind. Love that for you. Love that for you. Photographic memory. Right. She's stylish. She's causing a scene. Causing a scene. I can't okay? Can't. Yeah. Well, that was fun. Yeah. They will see you again. They will. And. Yeah, but I did think that was very. That was very dignified of you to just be like. All right, see you. See you when I see you. That part. The show will go on. The show will go on. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, I think we've been pretty petty and pretty bothered. We have, we have. That was our first episode of Hot and Bothered. Chelcye Perry. Bye. I'm Nthenya Thank you so much. Bye.